Insights

A Summers Daydream

| susancanderson

Downtown Portsmouth, NH

This summer, amidst the chaotic whirlwind of everyday life, I embarked on a spontaneous adventure, an escape from the monotony and routine. With an inexplicable urge to break free from my comfort zone, I took a leap of faith into the unknown, setting my sights on the picturesque city of Portsmouth, NH.

As I embarked on this unplanned journey, I couldn’t shake the uneasiness that consumed me. My usual tendency to meticulously plan and organize every detail was abandoned. It left me feeling a bit disoriented, yet also exhilarated by the possibility of what I could capture through the two lenses I brought along.

The sunlit streets of Portsmouth welcomed my arrival a little before 9 a.m. I purposely set out early as I was in the mood for casual solitude, with no desire to be burdened by the energetic footsteps of a pedestrian hot on my heels. I knew this would most likely be the case in just a few more hours. It was a significant weekend, as Prince Charles was being crowned on the same day.

As I predicted, the atmosphere was infused with excitement, and a palpable sense of festivity lingered in the air. A few buskers were out, which, in my opinion, added an element of color and beauty to the foundational vibe at hand.

I roamed the cobblestone paths and eagerly sought out subjects for my street photography. Yet, amidst the bustling crowds and city life, it was the radiant display of flowers that truly captivated my attention. Bursting with vibrant colors and delicate petals, these charming flowers seemed to grace every street corner, transforming Portsmouth into a mesmerizing floral tapestry.

As I attempted to capture the essence of this enchanting scene with my lens, my anxiety began to dissipate. The beauty of the flowers served as a reminder of the simple joys that can be found even in the midst of uncertainty. With each click of the shutter, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment.

While street photography was initially my goal, I found myself equally mesmerized by the architectural wonders and quaint storefronts that lined the streets. Every building seemed to tell a story, whispering tales of history and charm.

Throughout that unforgettable day, I embraced the art of photography with a newfound sense of freedom. The fear and self-doubt that had initially plagued me dissolved into a sense of liberation and creativity. I allowed myself to be guided by instinct, allowing the city to present itself to me in all its authentic splendor.

I invite you to immerse yourself in this pictorial journey, relishing in the beauty and stories that unfold within each frame. May it serve as a reminder that sometimes, the unplanned and uncharted paths can lead us to the most extraordinary and awe-inspiring experiences.

Stress – Is it Real?

| susancanderson

I’ve heard before from someone I admire deeply,  that stress is not real, that it’s a conjured-up emotion that we are responsible for creating, no one else. This means the mountains of work found waiting for you at your desk is not stressful. Figuring out how to pay for your children’s daycare when your salary is stretched to the max, nope – not stress.  I could go on and on with what many see as stressful situations.

  • Loss of a job
  • An impending divorce is on the horizon
  • Excessive weight gain/loss
  • Declining health
  • Breadwinner
  • What am I even on this planet for???

Recently I posted an article on dream states which I will reference below. While I was writing the piece, I failed to recognize what my body was trying to tell me. It suddenly occurred to me that the theme of my dreams is a result of stress! But wait a minute, let’s back up. If stress isn’t real, then why the heck am I feeling all out of sorts while frantically attempting to reach a goal (as simple as finding a door to exit where ever I may be),  that I can’t seem to achieve for some silly reason? Why have I “made up” some torturous emotion that has a strong aftertaste of impending defeat?

I believe what my inspirational hero, Wayne Dyer, was attempting to relay is that stress is a perception. It isn’t tangible, so it simply isn’t real. Oh boy, we are opening a whole can of worms with this one!

While the emotion of stress may very well be a perception, in my opinion, that state of perception is very real! Isn’t there such a thing as a personal truth? Cant I feel solid about my feelings while someone else disagrees with my current mindset? I mean, is that ok? Am I breaking some type of rule when stating my stress level?

My overall thoughts are as follows: If you are experiencing stress, it’s very real even if it is a perception. What can turn this stress around is looking at the situations differently. While I may not agree with Wayne regarding stress, I do agree wholeheartedly with a famous quote touted by the man himself, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

Susan Anderson

Living as Divine Expression

How do you say “No”?

| susancanderson

I’m not sure how you say no, however, I’ll be the first to admit, I say the word frequently and typically it’s with no follow-up provided. Ouch!   A few years back when the word “Boundaries” became the latest buzzword, I started to practice the task of establishing boundaries and saying “No”. Let’s be honest, people usually know their answer to a request before the reply even comes out of their mouths, and many times it’s a no when the answer that came out is a resounding “Yes”! I know myself a “Hell No” is felt quite often.

Even I know, that a “Hell No” is somewhat strong for a person who wants to go to lunch with you, even on a day when you’re flipping out over how much work is on your plate. Using lunch as an example may seem laughable as to most humans, but socializing over a meal is a common event to be looked forward to. Sadly, for those who are coping with social anxiety, or struggling in the self-care department, the seemingly innocent request of spending time with another can bring on frustrating thought processes that typically leave all involved annoyed, flustered, and drained.

While my blunt response of “No” more times than not results in a dumbfounded look from the person sitting or standing across from me, I’ve learned that it’s my right to say however little I’d like. No further explanation provided, as I can not stand the feeling of answering to someone. Regardless of what I believe, I tend to go through feelings of guilt whenever I turn someone’s request down.  I actually long to be able to ease another’s discomfort by providing a short and graceful response that aids in preventing feelings similar to that of getting their lips ripped off from asking to spend a little time with me.

While I previously stated that I despise having to explain myself, an instance where I feel I may be hurting someone is a different situation altogether. I get annoyed over feeling responsible for someone else feeling pain or discomfort when I turn down a request. While I fully understand I am not responsible for how others perceive and handle my responses, I do know that a display of grace and kindness can make a world of difference to another. Bringing light into another’s world also feels really good!

Boundaries have become a valuable tool that contributes to my well-being. There are many who operate under the guise of passive-aggressive behavior by saying what they think the other person wants to hear. “Oh yes, I’d love to do lunch with you, I’ll call you later to schedule”, while that call never takes place. “OMG, I’d be happy to help you out with your move”, on the day of the move a sudden sickness falls upon the one who agreed to help. I could give countless examples of when these instances occur, Hell, I’m guilty of agreeing to do something because I couldn’t say no, instead of honoring my authentic feelings. It’s simply easier to say yes than no, however, I will close with this bit of insight.

Agreeing to something to make another person feel better when deep down it’s known that you don’t want, or even can’t fulfill the request, can cause unnecessary feelings of hurt and dismay.  Honor your feelings, come from an honest place, and if you can muster it up, hold on to that authenticity while displaying kindness and grace.

Susan C Anderson

Living as Divine Existence

©Alexa

| susancanderson

I walked into the bathroom and gave the command to ©Alexa. “Alexa, play Spotify”. Spotify came in in the next second or so and instead of singing along with my favorite playlist, I stood there with this perplexed look on my face.

I’ll be honest, it felt a bit strange that she didn’t expect me to say thank you for the request.  

Then I asked myself,   “Do you say thank you only because it’s required”? Are you looking for approval for the politeness displayed because of the typically expected please & thank you? This inner discord caused by this sudden reflection has prompted a change in my attitude.

Since that day in October of 2018, I became that person who proudly makes requests to ©Alexa with a please and thank you. It may seem crazy to some yet I have a firm belief in this world that EVERYTHING is a form of energy that simply wants to be loved and appreciated. Even if it’s not a living and breathing thing, that thing was most likely constructed by the hands of human energy, or at least thought up.  The materials made had to of originated from a natural product that in most cases turned into the most unnatural form yet this form is an energy that desires the same basic needs as we humans do. 

How hard can it be to say please and thank you to ©Alexa? Trust me, even if you don’t feel you’re making her day, there will definitely be a shift in the way you carry out your day – with gratitude and appreciation.  I’ll take that please –  and Thank you!

Dream State

| susancanderson

 

In Life: 
I know how to get somewhere.   

In Dreams: 
I can only see one step at a time, and come up against obstacles and delays.

In Life: 
I know how to get somewhere on time.

In Dreams: 
I encounter obstacle after obstacle and never make it to the destination of focus.

In Life: 
I see the sun.

In Dreams: 
I’m either indoors, it’s nighttime or when I am outdoors – my vision does not extend far beyond my bubble however,              there is a sense of ominous clouds above or an environment that would indicate overcast skies and a damp atmosphere.

In Life: 
I ensure my affairs are in order, everything is in its place.

In Dreams: 
I find myself without my wallet, without my clothes, (underwear still on THANK GOD), and frantically trying to                  reach the hotel service desk to get a free room to pull myself together due to not being able to find any of my                          belongings.

In Life: 
I have trouble expressing myself with diplomacy and grace, with most of the time holding back out of fear of hurting            another.

In Dreams: 
I am already judged, with no explanation provided. Resulting in
others already disappointed in me, without my voice being heard.

In Life: 
I take care of my dental hygiene.

In Dreams: 
My teeth are all falling out (although it’s been a while since I’ve experienced that particular dream), with the sensations          felt in my body and a resounding WTF is happening in my brain.

I have come to realize that my dreams have always been spent in a state of deep stress, confusion, frantic behavior, and ominous environments. (I have to get to a meeting but I’m in a building that isn’t like my workplace and I’m to find my way there with no assistance from others, spending what seems like hours in a maze to get to my final destination).

Some say, that we work out our daily lives in our dreams and if this is so, then I’ll be honest, this woman is troubled by that hypothesis. I don’t seem to work anything out in my dreams as I’m in a constant state of stress. Trying to get to the next step… all the while feeling panic, embarrassment, confusion, stress, and fear of disappointing someone.

I have these feelings in my daily life, I simply know how to mask, pretend, do all the things to have a sense of feeling as if everything is in order, that I have all my ducks in a row and that I am keeping up with appearances. Don’t get me wrong, I do have my shit together however, my nagging thoughts inform me that my authentic mental state is that of what occurs in my dreams. Does my state of mind need to get better for my dreams to become happier, more uplifting, fun even? Why not have it the other way around?

The takeaway I gleaned from this realization is the gratitude for awareness as well as an intensified resolve to change my perception about things. This practice will warrant results however it’s important for all to know, this is a process that takes time and is usually NEVER complete! Sounds frustrating and one may ask themselves, why bother if the work is never done? Simply put, the process of life can be a lot less painful, and my dreams can be way more pleasant if I actively work on switching up how I normally perceive situations in daily life.